Becoming a US citizen

I received my US passport in the mail today. It's pretty cool; it's got lots of security features (I don't know what they are, but I can tell they're there because the passport cover seems to have some kind of thin metal strip sandwiched between two sheets of paper) , it's visually appealing (each page has a different patriotic image etched into the background, like an American flag, or a photo of Neil Armstrong landing on the moon), and it's also quite an interesting read (each page has a different quote about liberty or the US from a famous person like Kennedy or Jefferson). But what makes it really special for me is that it's my first one.

Yup, I became a US citizen a couple of months ago, in an uneventful ceremony at the immigration center in San Jose. I went alone because I left the kids with Alfie, who worked from home. The notice for the swearing-in ceremony said the venue was very small, so I thought the kids might get restless and disturb what would be a solemn ceremony for many people. I didn't really mind being alone at the time; I figured it was just a formality, and for me it was -- until they showed a video with some pretty but cheesy images (fluttering flags, flying eagles, and other stuff the Stephen Colbert would fill his background video screens with) set to Lee Greenwood's God Bless the USA .

I had a hard time fighting back the tears, but it wasn't because of the video or the words or the music (okay, maybe it was the music, a little bit, I'm not the flag-waving patriot type but I do like that song!). It was looking at all the people in that room, from every race and religion and every corner of the earth. All of them were here after months or years of waiting, waiting for the moment they could call themselves US citizens. People born in the US might talk about being proud to be American, and I'm sure they really mean it, but there's no better show of pride in the USA than actively seeking citizenship, jumping through all the hoops, doing all the legwork and paperwork and all other kinds of work that the application process entails. These simple people were really happy to be Americans -- And I was one of them!

The moment passed, and I filed along with the rest of the people in the room to receive my naturalization certificate, get a handshake from the INS official (I guess they call them Department of Homeland Security official these days) and grab some papers for voter registration. I went home and went about my daily business. But when I pulled my passport out of its mailing envelope, it all came back to me. No tears this time, but I had a nice, warm feeling inside that no Bush government and embarassing Iraq war and arrogant US-is-the-best-country-to-hell-with-the-rest-of-the-world attitude can diminish. I'm still a Filipino at heart, but despite all its faults, just like Obama, in no other country in the world could my story be possible, and for that I do love my newly-adopted country. It's great to be an American!

Filipinos and Food: No Reservations

I finally got around to watching the Anthony Bourdain's No Reservations: Philippines episode that has been lying in my DVR for weeks. Unlike the other show I watched featuring Filipino cuisine (Andrew Zimmern's Bizarre Foods), this one featured many more mainstream dishes. Sure, they had several foods that I could hardly bear to look at (OMG there's Anthony Bourdain chewing on a goat's eye, bile.... brain!!). But I watched most of the show wishing I had a plate of whatever they were eating in front of me.

The focus of the show was really about discovering what Filipino cuisine really is -- which of course is as difficult to do as it is for Anthony Bourdain's guide, a Filipino American fan named Augusto, to discover his own identity. Because Filipino cuisine is such a mishmash of influences, (Malay, Chinese, Spanish, American, etc..), and has such variation among regions, it's unique -- but difficult to distill and describe.

In any case, I was happy to see some real Filipino favorites on the show, like pinakbet, lechon, kare-kare, fishballs, sisig, and adobong anything. And I was happy to see two of my favorite Filipino foodies featured on the show: Ivan Dy, who led Alfie and me around Manila's Chinatown on a Big Binondo Food Wok, and Mr. Market Manila, who cooked up the highlight of the show, that wonderful meal full featuring fresh local produce and succulent lechon, served outdoors somewhere in Cebu (the view from wherever they were was amazing!).

The third thing I was happy to see emphasized was the connection between food and family. Anthony was fed by his hosts morning, noon and night. He was welcomed into Augusto's family and treated to feast after feast. Sharing food is the Filipino way express generosity, hospitality and togetherness. And I know they really got this message across because while we were watching the Lechon Lunch part, Alfie had a Revelation . His eyes lit up, and he said to me in an Ah-Hah voice, "I think I get it now. Food is to Filipinos what Tea is to the English!"



Bonggamom blogs about food A Lot -- here, on Finding Bonggamom, Bonggamom Finds, and her various other blogs. She's got more thoughts on the No Reservations: Philippines episode here.

pamasko and pasalubong and regalo! oh my...

first things first, happy new year! manigong bagong taon sa inyo! (thank your lucky stars you can't hear me butcher that pronunciation...)

personally, i'll be spending the start of our new year caring for the sick and contagious at home. they caught colds on our recent california holiday - probably on our southwest flight back to chicago. during the six + hours in transit, inbetween drawing on a doodle pad for one child and dressing/undressing dolls for another, i actually managed to read this article in sw's spirit magazine about regifting by kimberly garza.

in the article, she recalls early memories of her mother regifting into a balikbayan box, "I got my introduction to regifting on my sixth birthday, at the hands of a true master. I eagerly ripped into a present from a classmate only to reveal an exact replica of the Dream Bride Barbie I already had. I scowled, but my mother gently placed Dream Bride Barbie back in the box. “Your cousin Eunice would like this very much,” she said. Then she turned and placed Barbie in a large cardboard box labeled “For Manila.”

sound familiar? my mom STILL does this... as does my stepsister and all of the other matriarchs of my family. i don't actually have any boxes, i just contribute to theirs... :) in addition to new "unnecessary" things that we received as gifts, we would also put our gently used things in as well. i used to think my mother was telling a stale joke saying that one could tell who our relations were in iligan because they would be wearing my old handmedowns. and then, i visited and saw for my own eyes that she wasn't kidding.

at one point, i remember complaining to my mom saying, that a balikbayan box wasn't "enough" that we could/should be doing more by donating money to charities in the philippines. but she replied that she didn't trust any organizations in the philippines, she wouldn't be able to tell if her money would actually reach any one in need or just a corrupt few. her sentiment was seconded by the other aunties and uncles i knew of her generation. unfortunately, her concerns and my father's firsthand stories of institutionalized bribery, fraud and exploitation scared me away from filipino based charities as well.

it wasn't until i went back to manila for my sister's wedding that the idea of donating to a filipino charity crossed my mind again. every so often i saw a commercial for children's hour on tv, "a fund-raising and grant-giving organization that taps individuals, employees, and corporations to donate at least one hour of their earnings once a year to fund projects committed to promote the welfare of our Filipino children". although i didn't commit to anything, i started to research other charities when i got home and found these:

gawad kalinga- translated in English means to “to give care”, and it is an alternative solution to the blatant problem of poverty not just in the Philippines but in the world. GK’s vision for the Philippines is a slum-free, squatter-free nation through a simple strategy of providing land for the landless, homes for the homeless, food for the hungry and as a result providing dignity and peace for every Filipino.

cu foundation - a non-profit, non-religious, volunteer-based charitable foundation which provides financial and educational assistance through scholarship to under-privileged children in Ballesteros, Cagayan. The Foundation further delivers requested educational resources and equipment directly to public-based Day Care centers, schools, colleges and libraries in the Philippines.

pinoy kids-envisions a stable and viable community that will uphold the rights, welfare and aspiration of filipino families especially the children towards authentic human development.

teresa charities- provide life-sustaining rice monthly to the elderly poor in Vietnam and Philippines working through a network of churches. Three dollars buys a month's supply.

children's shelter of cebu-Orphaned children in the Philippines need more than just shelter...we provide food, medicine, education and a loving home through three residences and a school.

operation christmas child-enables caring individuals, families, schools, churches, businesses, and other organisations to fill ordinary shoe boxes with small toys, school supplies, sweets, and other gifts for needy children around the world.

haribon foundation- a membership organization dedicated to the conservation of Philippine biodiversity. It aims to build a constituency for environmental issues that will call for prioritizing conservation actions on habitats and sites, based on solid scientific and socio-economic research. We are the pioneer environmental organization in the Philippines.

pearl s. buck foundation- has three distinct functions that operate as one with the common mission of continuing the legacy and dreams of Pearl S. Buck - her commitment to improving the quality of life and expanding opportunities for children and promoting an understanding of the values and attributes of other cultures, the injustice of prejudice, and the need for humanitarianism throughout the world. coincidentally, apl.de.ap of the black eyed peas was sponsored by the foundation as a child.

peapod foundation- this is the black eyed peas foundation. it supports innovative programs for children and focuses attention on universal needs including music/artistic education, shelter/housing and healthcare. some of the donations go directly to charities in the philippines.

wikipedia also has a long list of charities in the philippines here.

honestly, even after all that reading, i was still having trouble getting over my handmedown biases. finally early in december, i ended up donating two shoeboxes to operation christmas child - one for a girl the same age as the paloma and another for a boy the same age as the porkchop. although samaritan's purse sends boxes to the philippines, i couldn't specifically request where our boxes would go. in a way, i felt like operation christmas child was the best of both worlds - a box of gifts coupled with a charity that also served children in the philippines.

i am disappointed in myself for not doing more, for not taking a larger leap of faith. but, i took an itty bitty teensy weensy baby step which is better than nothing i guess... and tomorrow, i'll have a whole 365 more days to take a few more.

...and by all means, please feel free to continue my education on any filipino charities you support/read/hear about in the comments!

Balikbayan

I am thrilled to be joining the Filipina Moms blog. I am a family doctor and mom to toddlergirl The Pumpkin. I am happily married to Daddy in a Strangeland (DISL) who encouraged me to write and start my blog which, of course, is called Mommy in a Familiar Place. I was born in the Philippines and moved to California with my family when I was a year old. While I have always been pinay I feel like I am just beginning to appreciate my heritage and the meaning of being a Filipina mom. I was raised apart from extended family for the most part but recently became reacquainted with my family in the Philippines during brief visits over the last decade. Most recently, I traveled with my parents, my husband and baby on their first trip to the Phils.

My family had been planning the Big Family Vacation to the Philippines for years. So when we returned last May from 2 weeks of family reunions and introductions there was a lot to process. Here's what I learned from the experience: 1) Our baby is a great traveler: flexible, adaptable, ready to party as long as she's had her nap. 2) My mom's family (chaotic, dramatic, highly emotional) is very different from my dad's family (professional, organized, diplomatic). 3) I had been trying to compartmentalize my Filipino identity and my American identity.

My anxiety about the trip reached its climax the day before we were supposed to leave. I was convinced that I had made a terrible mistake, that DISL and the Pumpkin would hate the Philippines, that my parents would be completely incompatible travel partners, that the whole thing was going to backfire in my face. Why? No reason. Completely irrational.

In my mind, my two worlds were going to collide and I was scared of what was going to happen. I thought I had been doing a pretty good job of going back and forth between my parents' world and my world. In my daily life, I'm your friendly neighborhood family doctor reassuring you that you're normal or that we're going to handle whatever your condition is together. On my days off, I'm scatter-brained mama trying to manage storytime with a toddler, doling out timeouts and teaching moments, while running errands for the family. Then once a month or so, we visit my parents and I'm a dutiful daughter who never has an opinion and goes along with anything my parents say.

Well, we had an unforgettably fun time in the Philippines and will probably plan another trip when the baby can actually remember the experience too. I have to admit, though, that I was a mess, and I had very difficult time knowing "my place". I need to give credit to my parents who were very accomodating of the baby's nap routines and bedtimes and to the baby who always joined the party despite her jetlag and of course, to my husband for being patient and for following my lead and for having good time anyway.

DISL says he learned 3 tagalog words: init (hot), pawis (sweat) and tubig (water). In the past, we usually stayed with family and used local modes of transportation but for this special inagural visit (for DISL and the baby) we splurged on the Manila Hotel and hired cars. Basically, we tried to stay airconditioned whenever possible. When we did venture out, both DISL and the baby would be drenched in sweat the second they hit the humid air. I had a lot of fun experiencing the Philippines like a tourist. We visited Intramuros by ourselves (I managed to communicate in Tagalog with the driver), we strolled BayWalk, we shopped at the Mall of Asia, we visted Villa Escudero, a coconut plantation and resort "where Philippine culture and history come to life."

The best part, though, was seeing DISL and the baby become part of my family. I was finally able to blend my 2 families together. No one from my family was able to attend our wedding in the States. This was the first time in 14 years of being together and 9 years of marriage that my father's father had the opportunity to meet my husband. I hadn't seen my grandfather in 7 years. Seeing my nuclear family mixed with my extended family was almost surreal. It was as if 2 parallel lives had collided with each other. Luckily, this didn't cause some rift in space or whatever it was I was afraid of before we left for the trip. Instead, I think I became more whole. Is that possible?

I learned to respect my husband. I learned that I need to listen to him and to stand up for him. I learned to be an adult and to voice an opinion in front of my parents. I learned that I still have a lot of growing up to do in order to be a wife and a daughter at the same time.

Thanks, for reading. I also posted this at my own blog.