Asian American women and retirement

Am I saving enough for my retirement? No. Should I be worried? Yes. This Saturday's edition of Bonnie Erbe's PBS show, To The Contrary , had an interesting slant on retirement: the fact that saving for retirement can be especially challenging for Asian-American women. Since we're all familiar with the cultural stereotype of Asians being hardworking, frugal and good at saving, I was surprised to hear that a significant number of Asian American women (28%) rely soley on Social Security for retirement income.

Bonnie Erbe's panel included Former Assistant Secretary on Aging Dr. Jeanette Takamura and Global Summit of Women President Irene Natividad (who is Filipino American), and they spent some time discussing why retirement savings can be an issue for Asian Americans. First of all, we have long lifespans (Asian American women's lifespan is about 86 years, 5 years longer than for white females, and almost 10 years longer than for African Americans). Second, we're women, and women generally earn 70 cents to the dollar as compared to men's salaries in similar jobs. And third -- which I found most interesting -- many Asian American women find themselves in the position of becoming caregivers for their own parents (even as they care for their children), and average caregiver could actually lose as much as $25,000 in Social Security benefits!

It's sad that the wonderful tradition of caring for the elderly can have such an impact on our own financial future. Sending parents to retirement homes is just not part of the Filipino culture. When I was young, my grandmother lived with us for some time after her husband, my grandfather, passed away. Now she lives in Manila with her youngest daughter and several grandchildren. Not that she can't afford to live on her own -- in fact my aunt lives in her house, not the other way around -- but she doesn't want to be apart from her family.

I'm not hesitant about generalizing that Filipinos -- in the Philippines, in the US and all over the world -- are quite comfortable living as an extended, multigenerational family. But for the financially strapped Filipino Americans who watched this show, I wonder how the realities of saving for retirement are going to affect their willingness to take in an elderly parent. Especially since you can never tell if that same tradition will remain when we reach retirement age and our own children have to decide whether to take us in and care for us.

Geez. I'd better start putting more money away for my golden years. Or maybe buy a house in Manila and retire there.


Bonggamom tries to write nice things about her kids on Finding Bonggamom in the hopes that they will love and care for her when they are grown up and she's just a poor, old widow. She also writes at Bonggamom Finds, Silicon Valley Moms, and Silicon Valley Savvy Source.

please pass the salonpas...

first and foremost - HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! i hope that the holidays were peaceful, joyous, memorable and healthy for everyone! :)

it was quite a medicinal rollercoaster over here at casita 'zilla. starting at the end of october, one (or all) of us was battling some random sadistic germ/virus/plague. we must have been broken some world laundering record considering all the bedsheets and clothes that were soiled and washed. finally by mid-december, we were all on the road to recovery (just in time, to battle all the fancy new germs that will sneak home in the pockets of the paloma's warm winter coat).

in my feverish daydreams, i realized that whenever i get sick, i feel an increment more frail, more fragile... and ever increasingly old. although, i was feeling festive and sprightly by the time our family christmas party rolled around, a handful of things reminded me that i really am getting older. and sooner or later, somebody's going to mistake me for a lola before i am one:

1) "alternative" medicine

i REALLY hate going to the doctor. sometimes when i get really sick, i think about my lola caring for me and some of her warped medicine chest wisdom. at one point, i was so sick and depressed about being sick, i was ready to surrender myself to a bodywrap mix of tiger balm, vicks vaporub and salonpas while drinking a wicked cocktail of kalamansi juice, raw eggs and salabat tea with an hourly chaser/gargle of salt water.... i was gearing myself up to watch soap operas all day long while burning random rocks and herbs in a pie pan underneath my chair if it meant i was going to get well.

2) the old gray mare, she ain't what she used to be...

i've been going gray since high school. i actually like going gray. my hair isn't salt and pepper by any stretch. but in a stiff breeze, my hair shows off it's salty layers. the only times i've ever dyed my hair (dk brown/blk) have been for special occassions like my sister's wedding in manila this time, last year. my mom and my aunties occassionally complain about my gray hair which really doesn't bother me either. i know it's because they want someone like me, who was born facially disfigured, to "blend" into my surroundings. and (i assume) because my 30 something year old hair is grayer than their own, they look as if they're revealing their own insecurities.

but then, my hairstylist, who i've been loyal to for years now asked me at my last appt if i was getting my hair colored. i immediately said "no" and "why?" with a nervous laugh. i saw her eyes flash a little and she said, "don't misunderstand me. i didn't mean that you NEED to get your hair colored, i just meant that if you wanted to, i needed to set aside more time".

and for some reason, i was really conflicted and still am, about coloring my hair. i'm left wondering if maybe i should start stockpiling some bigen hair dye for the future too...

3) but where are the shoulder pads?

in addition to the gifts of books i gave my much younger cousins for christmas, i also gave them all my back issues of giant robot and audrey magazines. i also had a small bag of clothing items that don't fit me anymore. the clothes are only a year or so old and relatively trendy... or so i thought...

then, my teenaged cousins walked into our house, i didn't bother bringing the bag of clothes down because they looked like extras/refugees from the fast times at ridgemont high, valley girl or the breakfast club movies. i realized they wouldn't want my clothes from a year ago. they wanted my clothes from when i was their age.

4) more fun with youth culture...

i got to talking about music with my cousins. one of whom labels metallica as classic rock. seriously folks, after i quizzed her about "classic rock", i almost saw the dialogue bubble over her head in text message saying: "idk. metallica?"

so, feeling a little undereducated in the "new" music department, i picked up a relatively new magazine on my radar, thirteen minutes, and found LOTS of new music... by filipino folks:

mobbstarr
ampon
gloc 9
annette ortiz (formerly of fatal posporos, now with SLY and Half Past Two)
vincent black shadow
west indian girl
leah
celia chavez

that's right, my own peeps are churning out new music and i don't know SQUAT about them. but hey, at least i know my boston. two snaps up! ;)

5) bringing out the lola in me...

and last but not least, i give you my final proof/evidence of my aging/mortality - my beloved children - who have a knack... no. a gift for bringing out the lola in me. let's just say, when the sh*t really hits the fan, the gloves come off, i assume the lola stance, i don the homemade housedress, the tsinelas start to fly and the words leave my mouth (jokingly... mostly... ok, please excuse my verbal abuse):

* sampaling kita! 'sus, marijosep! papaluing kita! sige!

* lakas ang ilaw, eh! patay ang ilaw sa kuwarto! tulog na!

* kain na!

* huwag mong galawin iyan!

* bahala na!

* grahbe! walang hiya!

* sira ang ulo

anyhoo, the time has come for me to take that much needed nap and my daily geritol before i embark on a bifocaled search thru the house for my partials...