27 January 2009

Are you a Mrs?

When Dad2Amara proposed, the Christmas tree lights were bouncing off the engagement ring. And beautiful carols played in the background.

Seriously, it was straight out of a scene of a movie.

I thought back to that day when he asked me to be his wife. And I just knew I would be a "Wagner."

I wanted to honor my soon-to-be husband.

And I vainly I admit I wanted a last name that would be easy to pronounce.

Having a very ethnic first and last name growing up was difficult for me in a very vanilla neighborhood. All of my friends were Molly's and Nicole's and Sara's.

Me? I was a Monina.

There wasn't another "Monina" 500 miles from my Midwest home.

And my maiden name. Well let's say it's not Smith or Thomas.

Yet a certain sadness came over me when I found out I was expecting our daughter, Amara.

I was filled with joy that I was pregnant with our child.

But I was overcome with sadness that Amara would not be carrying my Filipino last name. And because my only sibling is my sister, she too would not have a grandchild carrying that name through the generations.

Our Filipino surname stopped with us.

I recently saw an online discussion over whether or not an engaged woman should take her husband's last name.

And I realized I did not know how to respond.

I am proud to have Dad2Amara's name. But I do wish my family name would live on.

Are you a Mrs? Did you take your husband's last name?


Grace said...

As he has two sisters, my Dad is the last of his particular branch. And he ended up with FOUR daughters. My other sisters took their husband's last names outright. Me? I didn't take my husband's name in full. Instead? I hyphenated.

Tres said...

Actually, neither me or my son took my husband's last name. It's a little difficult to explain at school functions when everyone calls my husband Mr. MY-last-name. (We just let them.) There were no men left to carry on our family name. So I shifted that responsibility to my son. My husband's last name is our son's middle name. My husband's middle name is our son's first name.
Confused yet?

Jen said...

I am a Mrs. but my maiden name is my middle name now. It never crossed my mind not to take his last name. Guess I'm old-fashioned that way. I don't like it though when his mom addresses envelopes to me as Mrs. "Joe Smith" - that is so old-school.

Hazel Designs said...

I made my maiden name as my middle name.

maria said...

I hyphenated... never occurred to me to drop my own last name. My parents got 2 daughters and since my sister's passing I'm the only one in our family. Some of my cousins have my Dad's last name but its not the same.

MJ Tam said...

I am also using my husband's last name. Never really thought about it, but I always knew I was going to take my husband's last name.

I am all for whatever floats your boat...

Bonggamom said...

Hmmm, thought I had left a comment here already..I kept my last name when I got married.